Dr. Funk and the Head Spinners

A skunk’s funk lingers when it sprays its junk. It takes a while for the air to clear. I use this as a metaphor for the stank that lingers around me.

I told myself I was fine, but I’m not. Not completely. I didn’t even feel like doing any online shopping after Thanksgiving. Pretty shoes at 50% off? Blah. Who the bleep cares.

I don’t know how long it will take for me to clear myself of the stink. But I know I have to do something to neutralize it, not just let it keep stinking me up. I might get used to it and then where would that leave me? A person who knows how she smells and does nothing about it because she’s in too much of a funk to care.

Yes, this is how my brain spirals and forms its thoughts.

Speaking of my brain, a few years ago I went to see a neurologist for an issue I was having. Fortunately there was nothing (physically) wrong with my brain matter. However, I was slightly insulted to see “unremarkable” used several times in my test results. I brought this up with Dr. Ron, who simply laughed as if I were joking around. He also tapped my spine like a Canadian tree and the fluid was clear, which meant it was fine. If syrup had come out, that would have been problematic, as you can imagine. Wait – you’re thinking about pancakes right now, aren’t you. Ah, go ahead. Do it up. Waffles, french toast…have you ever been to an IHOP after a late night out with friends? I never order any of that stuff when I go out for breakfast, but for some reason, it’s freakin’ delicious after midnight.

Back to Dr. Ron the Neurologist. He was young and funny, and during my last appointment he scribbled down a prescription on his medical pad, ripped it off and handed it to me.

His prescription? Triumph the Insult Comic Dog.

I wish I had kept that slip of paper to prove that’s what he wrote. I guess you’ll just have to take my word for it. I admit that I didn’t fill the prescription at the time, but I’m finally going to heed his medical advice now (with a few more videos I picked out):

The Evolution of Dad Dancing

The Chickeneers Sing “Ho Hey”

Kristen Wiig and Will Ferrell Announce the Nominees for Best Actress at the 2013 Golden Globes

I so needed that.

Stink temporarily neutralized.


7 thoughts on “Dr. Funk and the Head Spinners

  1. …okay, hopefully this won’t show my comment twice…

    …even when you’re in a funk, you write a really interesting blog!…and, of course, now i want waffles AND french toast…and some hash browns…some sourdough toast on the side wouldn’t be bad either…geez, carb city…
    re: wiig and ferrell at the globes: man, that tommy lee jones doesn’t find anything funny, does he?…

    …may the funk be with you not (you have to say it in yoda’s voice for the full effect)…


    • I saw your first attempt at posting a comment – I don’t know why it didn’t get approved. Must have been the all-powerful Tommy Lee Jones taking offense at your remark. This second one slipped by him – he IS in his 90’s, after all.

      Now I have to watch my back after making that joke.

      The funk is also part of being in a rut. Must. Get. Out.


  2. ah, wish you were here so we could help get you out of your funk…with lots of alcohol (just kidding)…sort of. sending you lots of happy vibes!!!! its no fun to be sad. xoxo.


  3. Insult the Comic Dog IS pretty funny, as are the rest of the videos. Is this what we’re resorting to now? YouTube videos to take the pain away, even if temporary? Ah well, whatever helps, right? Let’s get outta the funk and get crunk. I dunno.


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