mirror, mirror

I have two mirrors in my 250 sq ft apartment.

The one above my kitchen sink is purely ornamental because it’s placed really high (says the short girl). I can’t see myself at all unless I jump in the air, which gives me one second to see if I look decent enough to go out in public.

note to self: never jump on a first date.

I know what you’re thinking: why am I even trying to see myself in this mirror? Well, now I know what I look like when I jump and that I should never jump on a first date.

The other mirror is the bathroom medicine cabinet. I have no idea how my outfits look from the chest down. I don’t know if I’m wearing high-water pants. I don’t know if I’m wearing pants at all. I could drag a chair into the bathroom to see my middle/lower section, but I’m too lazy to do this.

As a result, I haven’t given much thought to how my body looks. Out of sight, out of mind, right? I can always look down, but this angle is very deceiving. And friends are usually too kind to tell you the truth.

Squirrels, however, have no such problem.

"Hey, wutcha been eatin'? How come ya never invite me over? Want all the food to yourself, do ya?"

“Hey, wutcha been eatin’? How come ya never invite me over? Want all the food to yourself, do ya?”

A friend of mine has lots of them in varying sizes – mirrors, not squirrels – in her house. It’s a little alarming to suddenly be able to see your whole self from room to room. I either have to walk really fast or avoid eye contact with myself so that I don’t stop in front of one of them.

I’ve worked hard to accept the things I don’t particularly like about myself; I prefer not to give my inner critic any chances to chime in. As long as I’m healthy and I exercise regularly, it doesn’t matter how my body is morphing. I like to eat cheese. With wine. And charcuterie. I like dessert. I have a crush on David Chang. I think I’ve shared a little too much.

Really, the only thing I’m concerned about is if I remembered to put pants on before I’ve left the house. You’d be surprised how long it takes to realize you’ve forgotten them, especially if you have other things on your mind, like running into a gang of handsy squirrels.

 

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10 thoughts on “mirror, mirror

  1. …wow, you gots some friendly squirrels there…next time i’m lucky enough to see you (whenever that may be), we have to go eat charcuterie…and cheese…and dessert…you can have my wine (i’ll just have water…well, maybe bubbly water, but no soda)…and who is david chang? and why does that squirrel talk like an old-time gangster?…

    …i usually know if i’ve got pants on by how much of a breeze i feel…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Well, they’re not really “friendly” as much as they are pushy. Like the friend who wants to try a bite of your food and then takes a huge mouthful, stuffs it into their cheeks and runs away with your plate.

      No, I won’t have charcuterie with you – I like this healthy kick you’re on. Let’s continue it.

      David Chang is a chef and owner of the Momofuku restaurants. sigh.

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  2. I should have read the comments before I searched “David Chang” …and now I know! He must be a great chef, then 🙂

    That is great that you captured an image of the pushy squirrel.

    And just the other day my younger sister and I were talking about weird things we experienced when we used to live in San Francisco. She and my cousin had many interesting experiences, and my only addition was “remember that guy I saw walking on the sidewalk with a military jacket on… and nothing else?” He definitely did not look to make sure his pants (or what goes under his pants) were on before he went out in the world, well, before he went out on the streets of San Francisco, at least.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Poor guy…guess he didn’t have ANY mirrors in his house.

      Those squirrels! Too many people feed them and they get too familiar/close. One time after a run I was having a snack. I put my banana peel down and !whoosh! a squirrel took off with it.

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    • …oh…thank you for reaching out! I know you’ve moved and kept thinking, I need to catch up on your blog! I’ve been stressed as of late, but all is well-ish now. Like all things, they happen in waves. Will be posting something very soon. I’m off to read up on the new path you’re on!!

      Like

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