it’s a new day, it’s a new dawn

 

“Goodbye, Hell Hole!!!!!!!”

That’s what I shouted – because I’m mature and grown-up – as I drove away from my tiny, sweltering ex-studio. I was putting it behind me. Literally.

it's a new day

I’ve been living in my new place for three weeks now. I find myself smiling uncontrollably. I can hear sheep, cows, horses and chickens out in the distance. The most consistent sound I hear is of leaves rustling in the wind.

It’s all music to me.

blackberriescherry plums

I’m currently visiting my folks and packing my car with all of the things that wouldn’t fit in my old place. [I just checked the manual and yes, your parents’ house is supposed to act as a storage unit. Thought so.]

I’m excited to be bringing more personal items and much more kitchenware. My new place is inspiring and full of promise, and I am motivated to step up my game to expand into and embody the possibilities.

The past six months have been a mixture of stress and joy, of limitations and discovery. I still haven’t been sleeping well; I wake up at 4am, 5am, 6am and my mind starts whirring, but this time in a good way. There is so much to do, so much to make happen.

strength

I’ve always had difficulty figuring out where I was going: Where do I belong? What am I doing? Am I making the right decisions? But I think I understand The Force now. You can’t always use your eyes to see. If you know yourself, trust and have faith in yourself, you do your best to feel your way through while remembering to R-E-S-P-E-C-T yourself. You recognize rightness in your bones and you go where they lead you. Dem bones be smart.

I’ll continue to stumble, to doubt, to hope, to practice gratitude. And I’ll try and hold it together if I need to juggle all of those things at the same time, but I make no promises. If you go to your local grocery store and happen to witness a small Asian woman sitting down in the middle of the potato chip aisle, alternately laughing and crying, please don’t disturb me. I mean her. She’ll be fine. It’ll pass.

It’s a grand ride, this life. Full of unruliness, stillness, sudden twists and turns, and the potential for laughter in the face of fear and joy. Better hold on tight. Or loosen your grip. You know what to do for you: The Force awaits.

“To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest. To live fully is to be always in no-man’s-land, to experience each moment as completely new and fresh. To live is to be willing to die over and over again. ” ~ Pema Chödrön

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17 thoughts on “it’s a new day, it’s a new dawn

  1. It looks like a lovely spot you have there. We have those same blavm berries growing in our garden though theyre quite sour! I’m so glad you’re so much happier in your new place 🙂 I feel such a sense of belonging here at our home in england. There’s no doubt that I’m just where I’m supposed to be. I feel like I have everything I’ve ever wished for. I never knew life could be so incredible and I hope this lasts forever 🙂

    The other day I was in the backyard pulling weeds and it felt like s gorgeous fall day. Sunny with a nice breeze. Church bells in The distance. The smell of fires burning in the evening. I just felt so content; it reminded me of helping dad in the garden when I was little and country drives with mom in the fall. I just really truly love our little spot on this earth and digging around in the garden 🙂

    Also parents houses are definitely where you’re supposed to store things 🙂 just the other day my dad was complaining about all the shoes I left at his place lol

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m really happy that you feel at home where you are in the world. And with the right partner! Couldn’t be more pleased for you.

      Should I send the parental manual to your dad? I’m sure there’s a clause for “Daughter’s Shoes” in there…

      Liked by 1 person

  2. 😀 this is awesome!!

    It sounds like a lovely place you have moved to!!

    and yes, you parents house is supposed to act as a storage unit, unless they inconveniently move house and make you deal with it all!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I totally agree…having a home that brings peace and inspiration is amazing!

      Oh…so your kids are using your home as a storage facility? You’re the first person who is giving me the other side of the story and now I feel a little guilty (but not enough to move all my things out of my parents’ house)…

      Thank you for leaving a comment!

      Like

  3. Good for you! It appears that you’ve found a good nest. I really appreciate your candor and humor in your blog.

    Cheers-

    P/S I’m Lolako’s sister. (Not really big on leaving blog comments.)

    Liked by 2 people

    • oh. my. gosh. Lolako’s sister!! Lolako’s sister left a comment on my blog!! oh no. I’ve scared you now, haven’t I. I always do this.

      Thank you for reading! And seriously, no pressure to comment. I just really appreciate knowing you’re out there!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I LOVE, LOVE LOVE this post, Jane (did I tell you yet that I love this post?).

    And I see a certain sister left a comment, too.

    I am so happy for you and the new place…though by now you must have settled in nicely and you really are home. Just catching up on my favorite blogs after a summer break blog break. I’ll read the rest of your post (and hopefully you will join in the photo challenge theme this week: Change!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Jane!! I know…I can’t believe your sister left a comment. I was going to answer back quietly so as not to scare her off, but I think I was too excited to be cool.

      Change. Hm. Again, my mind is empty. Duh…white noise…

      Like

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