It’s been four days since I last exercised.

I feel like I’m in some sort of confessional, heavy with guilt, afraid I’m going to give in to that slacker side of me that hates to exercise…

Slacker was really happy to see me: I was wondering when you were coming back. Look, I saved you a seat right next to me…have some milk tea! Refillable for life. I texted our friend Carbs…he’s on his way. He missed you, too. Soon, we’ll all be one big happy family again.

Help me.