running

This Booty Was Made For Walkin’

/ jane in training / 2 Comments

I don’t have a runner’s body. Not that I have to in order to run. But it was never more evident than when I went to go pick up my bib and race packet for tomorrow’s 5K. The other participants who were picking up their race bibs seemed to be built like greyhounds. Sleek and lean and all arms and legs. It looked like the fat had been carved off of them. I wanted to offer them some of mine. I’m generous that way.

Olympic swimmer and medalist Nathan Adrian said in an article that his body was not made for running. It made me think – what is my body made for? Are somersaults a sport? Because I’m good at the stop, drop and roll thing. I’m built low to the ground and I can scrunch up like a roly poly/pill bug and just roll around and around with the best of them.

Maybe gymnastics. But I’m way too old now, not to mention earthbound. I don’t like my body leaving the ground unless I’m on a flight to Europe.

Am I prepared for the 5K tomorrow? Not exactly. I still can’t run longer than two miles without stopping – and that’s on a flat course. Yesterday, one of my friends sent me an article about how running might be harmful to your heart. Thanks! Just what I needed to motivate myself! I’m sure she means well, but I’m not going to respond. I want to stay positive, not think about my heart giving out on me.

However, if I don’t write about the 5K in the next few days…it means that I’m still on a runner’s high and can’t sit down long enough to post to my blog. See? Thinking positively! Watch out greyhounds – this roly poly will be right on your tails!

Run and Give Me 20

/ jane in training / 4 Comments

It was World Run Day today!

I celebrated by eating hot dogs and drinking Guinness!

No, not really…although if you knew me, you probably believed me.  I actually used today as a test run for the 5K I have on December 2nd on the Universal Studios backlot.  I ran two continuous miles!  After I put my beer down, I ran/walked the rest of the 1.1-ish miles.

A friend joined me at the last minute, and after the run, we were stretching at one of those exercise stations at the park.  Suddenly, a man’s voice bellowed:  “THAT WAS IMPRESSIVE!”  We turned around, and an older gentleman was looking at us.  Huh?  “THOSE PUSH UPS YOU DID!!”  At the exercise station, I had managed to do two very shaky push ups.  He proceeded to give us advice on walking with weights and strengthening our core first thing in the morning by lying on our backs in bed and holding our legs a few inches from the mattress.  Why we should do this upon first waking up didn’t make sense to me.  After all, my bladder is pretty full first thing in the morning, and straining to hold my core steady just didn’t sound like a very good idea.

“Are you a coach?”  I asked him.

He looked surprised.  Yes, he was.  A retired coach.

I gave him a knowing look that said, I’m psychic.  Hm, maybe this is why I attract strange men.  Anyways, he looked exactly like what you’d think a high school football coach would look like.  For some reason, this energized him, and he put his cup down in order to lie on the ground and demonstrate just what we needed to do.

“If I pass out, call 911.”  He told us, lifting his legs off the ground and counting inside his head.

“Is that water or alcohol?”  I laughed, leaning over to peer into his cup.

Beer.  Awkward.

I know, I know, I just made jokes about me and my Guinness, but I’m kind of proper in some ways, and straining your core while drinking beer really shouldn’t be done before 10am.

What?  Oh, yes…World Run Day.  I do realize that I tend to go off topic, but I wouldn’t have done so if Coach hadn’t shown up today.

I have three weeks to continue my training and will be adding hills to my routine.  I’m slowly realizing that my legs, sadly, will never be gracefully slim…the sooner I can accept that fact, the stronger I’ll be for it.

P.S. Coach didn’t pass out. We thanked him for his advice and left him to do our core work by eating like pigs.

The Training Begins

/ jane in training / 1 Comment

I heard that you should have some kind of unifying theme when you start a blog.  So, upon hearing that advice, I froze, which usually happens when faced with an infinite number of choices: Paralysis indecisionatus.  I’m pretty sure that’s Latin for “spineless behavior of the brain”.

I didn’t want this blog to saddle me with a specific identity.   But if I have no theme…no clarity of purpose…well, maybe that is my theme.

The pressure to not suck at writing made me run away from my own blog, even before I had posted one word.  Believe me, I thought about just posting:  hi.  i’m here.  the end.  But I couldn’t even commit to five measly little words.

Months later, here I am again, convinced I’m going to delete everything I’ve just typed out.  Obviously, I haven’t yet, but I did come back and make some edits…yes, I’m one of those.  But seriously, the blog police aren’t going to pull me over for writing without a theme (will they?) and besides, who the hell is even going to read this?  I’m barely reading this myself.

Don’t think.  Stop procrastinating.  Just start typing.

I am going to train to run a 5K.

I’m very organized.  I had my feet, gait and balance analyzed at a local running store and I bought a new pair of Sauconys and socks that will prevent blisters.  I found an 8-week training program that seemed very reasonable for a yo-yo exerciser like myself.  I’ve run/walked a few other 5Ks in the last three years, so I’m not a total couch potato.  I can do this.

First day of training (yesterday): Run five minutes, walk one minute.  Do this five times.  I can do this.

I discovered that I couldn’t do it.  Not all of it.  I ran two cycles and started wheezing.  My nose started running.  My thighs suddenly filled with cement.  And then I was hit with terrible cramps.  No, not leg cramps.

I walked the rest of the way home, feeling defeated.  I realized that I needed to train before I started my real training and I didn’t have any extra days to add to my program.  It was the perfect chance to convince myself to stop this silly training.  My fallback position.

At some point, you/I/whomever has to say to themselves, no, I’m not going to quit.  I’m not going to stop myself before I even start.  I’m not going to give up on myself.  So what if I don’t run the entire 5K?  There are worse things to happen in this world than not meeting that particular goal.  More importantly, what I’m really trying to do is motivate myself to make exercise a habit.  I’ve never been able to do so.

As a matter of fact, I should make writing a habit, too.  I like it, even though I rarely make sense and am self-conscious about what I write and – oh.  I’m doing it again.

Stop your self-trash talk and go immediately to www.oprah.com (another pep talk – Oprah cares).