Run, Hammer Time!

Pump a little bit and let ’em know it’s going on
Like that, like that
Cold on a mission so fall them back
Let ’em know, that you’re too much
And this is a beat, uh, you can’t touch

Yo, I told you (You can’t touch this)

He’s straight out of Oaktown (I’m pretending to know what this means) and is kindly providing me with my motivational, power running song. I’ve never thought about having one before, but it’s perfect. Just when I think I can’t run anymore and start thinking about a detour towards an ice cream sandwich, the song gets my energy up to start/keep running. It also makes we want to dance, but I restrain myself. Running and dancing don’t mix. Unless you are doing the Running Man, at which I’m terrible. I feel great when I’m doing it, but apparently, judging from the furrowed brow of my friend Mae, I probably look like I’m doing one of those old, “I must, I must, I must increase my bust” exercises instead. While doing dangerous and super impatient knee lifts.

I tend to be late on the bandwagon when it comes to suddenly liking music that’s been around for decades. When I first heard “No Diggety” last year, I thought it was a new song. Same with “Shoop”. No, I don’t only listen to old rap songs. I actually like a lot of folk rock like The Oh Hellos, Gregory Alan Isakov. And 70’s and 80’s music. Southern Rock. Pop. Why am I talking about this?? MC Hammer…music…motivation…

I completed my first 12K three weeks ago. It was amazingly awesome. Especially when you share the experience with friends. We ran our own races, cheered each other on, and proudly and loudly debriefed over a huge Sunday brunch. I almost felt like I was part of King Arthur’s court with my grog (coffee) and leg of wild boar (eggs benedict).

So, three weeks have passed and in between then and now I’ve been dealing with some family stuff, creating more mosaics, made a trip to L.A. and interviewed for a job. And, oh yes – I’m thinking about running a half marathon.

I had previously thought the idea was quote, cuckoo, unquote. Perhaps it is. But I never claimed to be sane. So I’m entertaining the idea. A friend lent me her copy of Jeff Galloway’s “Galloway’s Book on Running” and I’m trying out his method of training. I’ll be curious to see how my running changes over the course of the next 4 – 6 weeks.

Time to find more music to motivate me. I just heard about a guy named Vanilla Ice. Think I’ll check him out – or maybe it’s just that I still want that ice cream sandwich…

Run and Give Me 20

It was World Run Day today!

I celebrated by eating hot dogs and drinking Guinness!

No, not really…although if you knew me, you probably believed me.  I actually used today as a test run for the 5K I have on December 2nd on the Universal Studios backlot.  I ran two continuous miles!  After I put my beer down, I ran/walked the rest of the 1.1-ish miles.

A friend joined me at the last minute, and after the run, we were stretching at one of those exercise stations at the park.  Suddenly, a man’s voice bellowed:  “THAT WAS IMPRESSIVE!”  We turned around, and an older gentleman was looking at us.  Huh?  “THOSE PUSH UPS YOU DID!!”  At the exercise station, I had managed to do two very shaky push ups.  He proceeded to give us advice on walking with weights and strengthening our core first thing in the morning by lying on our backs in bed and holding our legs a few inches from the mattress.  Why we should do this upon first waking up didn’t make sense to me.  After all, my bladder is pretty full first thing in the morning, and straining to hold my core steady just didn’t sound like a very good idea.

“Are you a coach?”  I asked him.

He looked surprised.  Yes, he was.  A retired coach.

I gave him a knowing look that said, I’m psychic.  Hm, maybe this is why I attract strange men.  Anyways, he looked exactly like what you’d think a high school football coach would look like.  For some reason, this energized him, and he put his cup down in order to lie on the ground and demonstrate just what we needed to do.

“If I pass out, call 911.”  He told us, lifting his legs off the ground and counting inside his head.

“Is that water or alcohol?”  I laughed, leaning over to peer into his cup.

Beer.  Awkward.

I know, I know, I just made jokes about me and my Guinness, but I’m kind of proper in some ways, and straining your core while drinking beer really shouldn’t be done before 10am.

What?  Oh, yes…World Run Day.  I do realize that I tend to go off topic, but I wouldn’t have done so if Coach hadn’t shown up today.

I have three weeks to continue my training and will be adding hills to my routine.  I’m slowly realizing that my legs, sadly, will never be gracefully slim…the sooner I can accept that fact, the stronger I’ll be for it.

P.S. Coach didn’t pass out. We thanked him for his advice and left him to do our core work by eating like pigs.

The Training Begins

I heard that you should have some kind of unifying theme when you start a blog.  So, upon hearing that advice, I froze, which usually happens when faced with an infinite number of choices: Paralysis indecisionatus.  I’m pretty sure that’s Latin for “spineless behavior of the brain”.

I didn’t want this blog to saddle me with a specific identity.   But if I have no theme…no clarity of purpose…well, maybe that is my theme.

The pressure to not suck at writing made me run away from my own blog, even before I had posted one word.  Believe me, I thought about just posting:  hi.  i’m here.  the end.  But I couldn’t even commit to five measly little words.

Months later, here I am again, convinced I’m going to delete everything I’ve just typed out.  Obviously, I haven’t yet, but I did come back and make some edits…yes, I’m one of those.  But seriously, the blog police aren’t going to pull me over for writing without a theme (will they?) and besides, who the hell is even going to read this?  I’m barely reading this myself.

Don’t think.  Stop procrastinating.  Just start typing.

I am going to train to run a 5K.

I’m very organized.  I had my feet, gait and balance analyzed at a local running store and I bought a new pair of Sauconys and socks that will prevent blisters.  I found an 8-week training program that seemed very reasonable for a yo-yo exerciser like myself.  I’ve run/walked a few other 5Ks in the last three years, so I’m not a total couch potato.  I can do this.

First day of training (yesterday): Run five minutes, walk one minute.  Do this five times.  I can do this.

I discovered that I couldn’t do it.  Not all of it.  I ran two cycles and started wheezing.  My nose started running.  My thighs suddenly filled with cement.  And then I was hit with terrible cramps.  No, not leg cramps.

I walked the rest of the way home, feeling defeated.  I realized that I needed to train before I started my real training and I didn’t have any extra days to add to my program.  It was the perfect chance to convince myself to stop this silly training.  My fallback position.

At some point, you/I/whomever has to say to themselves, no, I’m not going to quit.  I’m not going to stop myself before I even start.  I’m not going to give up on myself.  So what if I don’t run the entire 5K?  There are worse things to happen in this world than not meeting that particular goal.  More importantly, what I’m really trying to do is motivate myself to make exercise a habit.  I’ve never been able to do so.

As a matter of fact, I should make writing a habit, too.  I like it, even though I rarely make sense and am self-conscious about what I write and – oh.  I’m doing it again.

Stop your self-trash talk and go immediately to www.oprah.com (another pep talk – Oprah cares).