I’m not sure what I was thinking. That’s just it. I wasn’t thinking.
After all, I’m still trying to understand the messages that my body sends me (see last entry). Sometimes two halves don’t make up a whole, and sometimes the result isn’t as funny as the movie promises:
The local dance studio had advertised “Disco Night!” which included a lesson in the Hustle and then a dance party to follow. I remembered how much fun it was to do the Hustle, and consequently, I thought it would be really fun to just let loose and dance afterwards.
What I didn’t expect was a formal lesson by award-winning ballroom dancers and as we learned each step, we would be switching partners. I went by myself in an effort to “get myself out there” and found out, hey – this is what speed dating must be like! Except, it turns out, this would be more humiliating. On a positive note, I was having fun learning the first few set of steps before things got complicated with full and half turns. On a not so positive note, if my guy also didn’t know how to dance and one of us missed a step, I got thrown off the ship and I took my partner with me. If I tried to laugh it off and the guy didn’t laugh at all, I felt terrible. Being responsible for my own demise was no big deal. But if I ruined it for someone else…
When the lesson was finished, the lights went out and the disco ball came down. I thought, Let’s Dance!!! Where’s Ren McCormack??!! But people partnered up to elegantly chachacha and hustle and do whatever choreographed step they were doing. Oh.
I watched the other single women being asked to dance and after fidgeting on the sidelines a bit, I left. I felt…awkward. I blame myself – I could have laughed it all off and not cared what anyone thought. The point was to have fun, and my feelings of embarrassment kept me from truly having fun.
I guess the point of trying something new is that at least you learn what you like and don’t like. After all, I don’t get the least bit embarrassed when I dance at weddings or other events where you can just let go and dance the way you want to. In fact, I’m positive that I embarrass other people. Maybe structured dance just isn’t my thing.
I was telling my mom about the experience and she said (translation provided in English), “When you were young, maybe 6 or 7 years old, you would put a record on and dance, dance, dance…dance, dance, dance…shake your booty, shake your booty…” (Sorry, I made up that last part. Couldn’t resist.) She said that I would dance and dance and laugh and laugh…
That’s how a kid dances, right? With complete freedom and joy?
That’s what all of me loves about dancing. There is no argument within because I can let it all go and feel like a kid again.
No, I probably won’t be going back to that dance studio. Not unless they combine speed dating with improvisational dance. Now where to find…