Close Encounters of the Fifth Kind

Four score and twenty years ago, I asked a guy out on a date.  Well, it was more like: “Next time you’re in L.A., give me a call if you want to hang out.”  I know.  Being proactively vague is a gift.  We ended up being together for 18 years.

Needless to say, I haven’t been on a date with someone new in quite a while.  When I became newly single, I had no interest in dating – it wouldn’t have been a good idea until I found my own footing again.  But I’m ready now and…rusty.  Extremely rusty.  It doesn’t help that I didn’t date that much before my last relationship.

Yesterday, I asked Wine Guy:  “Would you be interested in meeting for coffee sometime?”  Wow, I get more skilled as the decades fly by.  Wait.  Now that I think about it, it probably would have made more sense if I had asked him to meet up over a glass of wine.  Anyways, he said yes, we exchanged numbers and…now what?  I didn’t lock down a day and time.  Was I supposed to do that?  Why is this so awkward?  I feel like I just went on a job interview after being out of the workforce for twenty years.  Hi!  Please hire me!

Clearly, I will be muddling through this whole dating thing until I get the hang of it.  Or not.  In the meantime, I respectfully and cautiously join the rest of the muddlers out there.  Here’s to us.



4 thoughts on “Close Encounters of the Fifth Kind

  1. Humble,

    Thats not to bad, you got through the hard part of asking! First, from what I have learned it might have been better to say “I am going to coffee, saturday morning at CuppaJoes, you interested?”……

    That being said, with your current delivery, he is wondering just about what to do next. Its not a bad thing to make him wonder, why hasn’t she called. This is known as the “hamster”, like a hamster on a wheel. There will be all kinds of rationalizations going on in his head. My suggestion is figure out when you are free, and make that the day and time to go, invite him to come along. If he says he can’t tell him “well perhaps some other time”, now the ball will be in his court….. just my thinking from my reading. I don’t know how applicable it is for a female->male problem. But we cant be too different at some level, we both have hamsters….. 🙂

    Keep us posted, on what happens


  2. My hamster is taking a well-deserved nap right now, but she will take your advice into consideration before she gets back on the wheel. Wine Guy doesn’t seem to have any smooth moves as far as I can tell. Maybe that’s what I like about him. It’s me I’m worried about. I’m far too smooth for my own good. ha!


  3. It’s been a few days, so even though you made the first move, I think you need to do the follw up. He may be waiting for you to let him know when you’re free for the coffee meet up. He said yes so that’s a good sign!


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