Single Gal with Smallpox Seeks Non-Judgmental Single Guy

Did you miss me?

I knew it.  You didn’t even know I was missing, did you.  That is just the reaction my cat would give me when I’d come back from a trip:  “You were gone?”  And then she’d go back to licking herself.

So where was I?


Just another day at the office

Just another day at the office

The beautiful island of Oahu.  I had a great time visiting friends and eating multiple meals and desserts all throughout the day, every day.  Before I left for the trip, I was feeling vain and didn’t want to wear shorts, but being in Hawaii made me realize that a lot of the native and local women are comfortable with their bodies.  They just owned what they had.  It’s simply too uncomfortable to wear pants all of the time.  I mean, I brought a pair of jeans.  What was I thinking!?  And look ovah dere, yah?  My legs look like the others’!  Sure, there were skinny-legged women there, but I also saw my gene pool represented in the short, strong (well, I’m working towards strong) category.  So I put my shorts on and went native.  Well, until a few days later when I broke out in a hideous heat rash all over my feet, legs and arms.  I eventually covered myself up – I didn’t want to scare people into thinking I had a nasty case of smallpox.

So there I was in Paradise, minding my own heat rash, when I get a text.  From Wine Guy.  If you recall – which I barely do – I last left him a voicemail and got no response.  But WG moves sllllloooowwww…two and a half weeks later slow:  Hi, are you interested in going out to a movie or coffee?  Unless I’m missing something, is this a taste of what dating is like?  You get to know a person by not contacting them or responding to them every few weeks or so?  Call me a sucker, because you will, but I texted him back, told him I was traveling at the moment and asked if he wanted to get together at the end of the month.  Again, no response.  Well, it’s only been ten days, so I expect to hear from him in another week or two or three.

My behavior is indicative of someone who doesn’t have very many choices.  That’s why, despite my better judgment, I’m thinking about online dating.  A few weeks ago, when I was doing my research, I noticed that I could actually look at guys’ profiles.  I like knowing things, so I thought it was super handy to find out if a guy smoked or wanted kids or was crazy athletic.  And because I’m a non-smoking, non-childbearing, half-activewoman/half-slug, information like this is really important.  I didn’t anticipate that the filtering process could be so helpful.  The idea still scares me, but I’m getting closer to trying it out for a few months.

Don’t attempt to figure out who I am.  I won’t give out anymore clues.  You already know too much about me – after all, you’ve seen my right hand and both feet, and I’ve admitted to my Asian heritage and short, stout-leg nature.  You won’t catch me using these profile names:  sugahmama10, dontkrossmi, and ladeeyakuza.  I checked – they’re already taken.  All the good ones are.


8 thoughts on “Single Gal with Smallpox Seeks Non-Judgmental Single Guy

  1. Humble,

    Of course I missed you! I was wondering what happened to WG, I guess I still am. It was kind of an odd TXT. It would have been interesting if you only replied, “yes”….. and left it at that. Trying to ignite an actual conversation. I have dealt with people like WG, it isn’t fun.

    Trying online dating should be good, I hear women are busy on those sites. Can’t wait to hear about it!



  2. Yay, I was missed! haha! Thanks, Paul…now I know someone cares (at least in the blogosphere). I won’t be following up with WG. I keep going after the bait he leaves out and am left hanging there. I don’t want that!

    As for online dating, we’ll see what happens. My profile is going to be slightly quirky (what else would you expect?) – I figure it will weed some guys out. I hope it doesn’t attract the “special” ones. If anything, it will give me more blogging material, yes?


    • Humble,

      Here is a question for you….. my therapist and I were discussing my “starbucks” pickups…if you can call it it that.

      Anyhow, would you be more likely to go out with a guy that you meet at a coffee shop, or a guy online through one of the dating sites?

      I am sure you will get a few “special” ones, I haven’t heard of a story where people haven’t. Its a target rich environment for blogging material…. 🙂



      • Do I have to pick one of those situations? Because if I find a guy charming, it doesn’t matter where I’ve met him. Is Starbucks your “go to” place? Have you been successful?


  3. Oh Humble 🙂 I didn’t mean it to be a false dichotomy, yet I suppose it was. I like the way you think, open minded. Her disliking of Starbucks was that she felt a woman might find it creepy? But I feel online might be a bigger risk.

    Her point was that I should join clubs and what not. Not that I don’t I belong, and participate in many clubs. But my feeling is that becoming “friendly” with them puts me in the “friendzone”. Having never gotten out of the friendzone….

    Success is, I guess what the expectation is. I continually meet women at my local starbucks. For me right now, just asking for a number or to meet again is success. Trying to remember outcomes don’t matter, though its hard to do…… hope you have a good day!


    • Starbucks, joining a club…I think almost anywhere is an opportunity to meet people. I guess it depends on your approach and the unknown factor of how the woman will respond. Starbucks seems like a good place to strike up a casual conversation – I think it’s brave to put yourself out there! You’re going to Italy soon? Have a wonderful time!


  4. Humble,

    I don’t leave until late July for Italy… I am excited about it, but have some trepidation about the climbing…. I am filing it under shame 🙂


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