The Slump

It’s been four days since I last exercised.

I feel like I’m in some sort of confessional, heavy with guilt, afraid I’m going to give in to that slacker side of me that hates to exercise…

Slacker was really happy to see me: I was wondering when you were coming back. Look, I saved you a seat right next to me…have some milk tea! Refillable for life. I texted our friend Carbs…he’s on his way. He missed you, too. Soon, we’ll all be one big happy family again.

Help me.



Crossing Over: The Runner’s High

A real 5K through a fake town

A real 5K through a fake town

I was kind of kidding in my last post about having a runner’s high.  But something happened.  I think it happened to me.

What are the signs?  Slight euphoria?  Feeling like you can run another race even though you’ve just completed one?  Wanting to sign up for a 10K next time?

Adrenalin must have kicked in when the race started, because I never felt the lead in my legs like I usually do during the first five minutes of every run.  I ran slow and steady until I couldn’t anymore…and that’s when I took the photo above.  In my female age group, I finished 4th out of 17 runners.  What the?  I don’t know how many greyhounds were in my group, but this miniature Dachshund did pretty well.  At first, I really thought there might have only been four women running in my age group.  Seventeen women doesn’t seem like a lot compared to other races, but I’ll take what I can get.

I used to be one of those people who didn’t understand running.  Runners, I would scoff.  What the hell do you think you’re doing?  Hello, you’re not heading anywhere…not like me…see?  I’m getting in my car and I will end up at the bakery.  Now that is a real destination!

I was talking to my hair stylist the other day and I told him that I was going to run a 5K on the lot at Universal Studios and that it was going to be fun.  He gave me a Girl, you be crazy look, just like I must have given other people in the past.  Somehow, I crossed over into thinking running was fun.

After the race, my friends and I immediately launched ourselves into the pancake breakfast and enjoyed that feeling of sharing a fun experience together.  What could be better than that?

This Booty Was Made For Walkin’

I don’t have a runner’s body. Not that I have to in order to run. But it was never more evident than when I went to go pick up my bib and race packet for tomorrow’s 5K. The other participants who were picking up their race bibs seemed to be built like greyhounds. Sleek and lean and all arms and legs. It looked like the fat had been carved off of them. I wanted to offer them some of mine. I’m generous that way.

Olympic swimmer and medalist Nathan Adrian said in an article that his body was not made for running. It made me think – what is my body made for? Are somersaults a sport? Because I’m good at the stop, drop and roll thing. I’m built low to the ground and I can scrunch up like a roly poly/pill bug and just roll around and around with the best of them.

Maybe gymnastics. But I’m way too old now, not to mention earthbound. I don’t like my body leaving the ground unless I’m on a flight to Europe.

Am I prepared for the 5K tomorrow? Not exactly. I still can’t run longer than two miles without stopping – and that’s on a flat course. Yesterday, one of my friends sent me an article about how running might be harmful to your heart. Thanks! Just what I needed to motivate myself! I’m sure she means well, but I’m not going to respond. I want to stay positive, not think about my heart giving out on me.

However, if I don’t write about the 5K in the next few days…it means that I’m still on a runner’s high and can’t sit down long enough to post to my blog. See? Thinking positively! Watch out greyhounds – this roly poly will be right on your tails!

Run and Give Me 20

It was World Run Day today!

I celebrated by eating hot dogs and drinking Guinness!

No, not really…although if you knew me, you probably believed me.  I actually used today as a test run for the 5K I have on December 2nd on the Universal Studios backlot.  I ran two continuous miles!  After I put my beer down, I ran/walked the rest of the 1.1-ish miles.

A friend joined me at the last minute, and after the run, we were stretching at one of those exercise stations at the park.  Suddenly, a man’s voice bellowed:  “THAT WAS IMPRESSIVE!”  We turned around, and an older gentleman was looking at us.  Huh?  “THOSE PUSH UPS YOU DID!!”  At the exercise station, I had managed to do two very shaky push ups.  He proceeded to give us advice on walking with weights and strengthening our core first thing in the morning by lying on our backs in bed and holding our legs a few inches from the mattress.  Why we should do this upon first waking up didn’t make sense to me.  After all, my bladder is pretty full first thing in the morning, and straining to hold my core steady just didn’t sound like a very good idea.

“Are you a coach?”  I asked him.

He looked surprised.  Yes, he was.  A retired coach.

I gave him a knowing look that said, I’m psychic.  Hm, maybe this is why I attract strange men.  Anyways, he looked exactly like what you’d think a high school football coach would look like.  For some reason, this energized him, and he put his cup down in order to lie on the ground and demonstrate just what we needed to do.

“If I pass out, call 911.”  He told us, lifting his legs off the ground and counting inside his head.

“Is that water or alcohol?”  I laughed, leaning over to peer into his cup.

Beer.  Awkward.

I know, I know, I just made jokes about me and my Guinness, but I’m kind of proper in some ways, and straining your core while drinking beer really shouldn’t be done before 10am.

What?  Oh, yes…World Run Day.  I do realize that I tend to go off topic, but I wouldn’t have done so if Coach hadn’t shown up today.

I have three weeks to continue my training and will be adding hills to my routine.  I’m slowly realizing that my legs, sadly, will never be gracefully slim…the sooner I can accept that fact, the stronger I’ll be for it.

P.S. Coach didn’t pass out. We thanked him for his advice and left him to do our core work by eating like pigs.

The Training Continues

This blog was born with a post about my zest for writing and running.  At least, that’s how I choose to remember it.  And surprise, surprise…I’m still here!  Doing both!

When I don’t have time to run after work, I get up in the misty mornings and run before.  Mind you, I’m not saying it’s for everyone.  After all, I don’t really have full control of my limbs (or my bowels) that early in the morning, so impending disaster and embarrassment loom around every street corner.

My friend Neal (now he’ll have to keep reading my posts with this shout out) claims that the average person exercises for about 10-12 weeks before slowly losing their original zeal to get healthy.  At least, I think that’s what he said – I might have nodded off at some point during the conversation.  Anyways, what I heard was that if I didn’t make exercise a habit, I would soon enter LazyAssville after a few months, per my usual routine.

No, I say.  Not this time.  I am publicly declaring that I will keep up my routine and will, yes, eat humble pie if I don’t.  I also know that I can easily delete this post.  Ah, the power.

*I just realized that I can’t piss off Neal.  He’s my only subscriber and he kindly comments on my posts even when I’m certain he’d rather be reading about Einstein’s philosophies and dirty little habits.  Thanks, Neal.