Single and Ready to Awkwardly Mingle

Locks.  Keys.  Men.

Okay, maybe that’s too provocative an opening.  My friend Neal is going to think I’m talking about Fifty Shades of Grey again, which, by the way, I haven’t read except for the reviews.  And the reviews are hilarious.  I’m guessing they were better written than the book.

No, I’m talking about attending my first ever singles mixer last night with a group of my best girlfriends.  Even though I’m an introvert and prefer hanging out with a few friends as opposed to going to parties, I didn’t feel nervous once I made the decision to go.  I think it was all those years of being the girlfriend of a musician – I was forever going to parties, hostessing parties, and going to bars to listen to music.  I would be forced to talk to all sorts of strangers and then I would collapse at home, my capacity at being social filled to the brim.

At first, the mixer reminded me of junior high dances, where everyone sat along the wall glancing nervously at each other, puberty wreaking havoc on everyone’s self-esteem.  Replace puberty with fully developed hormones, and you have the mixer.  Girls in skimpy dresses getting the most attention?  Even if they looked like Mickey Rourke (post-surgery) in drag?  Ah, just like junior high..not to mention high school, college…you get the idea.

The lock and key aspect of the event was supposed to be an icebreaker or a “game” as one of the organizer’s called it.  If the guy’s key unlocked your lock, both of you were supposed to turn them in, get a new set, and also receive raffle tickets.  Some guys were so focused on the tickets that they didn’t even bother to say anything as they gestured to try their keys.  And then they would simply walk away if it didn’t open the lock.  At one point, I offered to turn both in so that one guy could continue talking to my friend.  As I was walking away, he shouted after me, “Don’t forget my raffle ticket!”  I’m long past taking things personally, so these kinds of exchanges just make me think, hm, interesting.  But I’m taking notes.

I wouldn’t say it’s the most organic way of meeting your special someone – if that’s what you’re looking for – what with all the cheesy randomness of whose key was going to unlock your lock, but I thought it was good practice for just being open to new experiences and interacting with all kinds of people.

I’m in no hurry to find someone, especially starting anything serious, but I realized that I’m open to slowly begin dating again.  Maybe a more natural environment is the best call for me.  I’m thinking of joining a running club after I move out of L.A.  I noticed that I tend to write mostly about running and men/relationships, but not in the same post.  Maybe it’s time to change that.

Crossing Over: The Runner’s High

A real 5K through a fake town

A real 5K through a fake town

I was kind of kidding in my last post about having a runner’s high.  But something happened.  I think it happened to me.

What are the signs?  Slight euphoria?  Feeling like you can run another race even though you’ve just completed one?  Wanting to sign up for a 10K next time?

Adrenalin must have kicked in when the race started, because I never felt the lead in my legs like I usually do during the first five minutes of every run.  I ran slow and steady until I couldn’t anymore…and that’s when I took the photo above.  In my female age group, I finished 4th out of 17 runners.  What the?  I don’t know how many greyhounds were in my group, but this miniature Dachshund did pretty well.  At first, I really thought there might have only been four women running in my age group.  Seventeen women doesn’t seem like a lot compared to other races, but I’ll take what I can get.

I used to be one of those people who didn’t understand running.  Runners, I would scoff.  What the hell do you think you’re doing?  Hello, you’re not heading anywhere…not like me…see?  I’m getting in my car and I will end up at the bakery.  Now that is a real destination!

I was talking to my hair stylist the other day and I told him that I was going to run a 5K on the lot at Universal Studios and that it was going to be fun.  He gave me a Girl, you be crazy look, just like I must have given other people in the past.  Somehow, I crossed over into thinking running was fun.

After the race, my friends and I immediately launched ourselves into the pancake breakfast and enjoyed that feeling of sharing a fun experience together.  What could be better than that?

I’m Leaving You – Part 1

It’s done.

I gave notice at work yesterday. After nine years of my life there, I’ll be cleaning my desk and moving in a few weeks. Compared to my break up with my boyfriend last year, this was a breeze.

Of course, I’m pretty sure I’m in denial. I’ll be leaving a place where I very much felt I belonged: great co-workers and friends, volunteers always feeding and fussing over me. Not to mention the satisfaction of knowing the ins and outs of my job. At some point, the loss of all those things will probably hit me like a ton of bricks.

So why leave?

I don’t mean to get all granola-y, but my inner compass tells me to go. It’s been pointing north for a while now. Add to that my single status and the fact that I’ve gotten burnt out from people leaving our department and not being replaced…well, it just seems to make sense to me. I’ve made mistakes before by staying too long because I was too comfortable or scared to leave.

So, I’m ready to take a leap of faith in myself. And it’s a huge leap because I don’t have a very good plan for my next step. In fact, I don’t really have a plan.

I never claimed to be smart. I’m just following my heart this time, not my head. We’ll see where it takes me!