friendship

The Ultimate Bully

/ jane in training / 4 Comments

I hate cancer.  I just want it to leave my family, friends and me alone.  And just leave everyone else alone, too.  It’s already bullied my mom and me, and now it’s trying to attack one of my good friends.

When I left my ex and moved out of the house, my friend N let me stay with her for three months while I gathered myself back together.  Imposing on someone for that long goes against my very nature, but her kindness and open-heartedness made me feel welcome and safe.  Those three months were exactly what I needed to help me process and take the next step in my life.

N is an amazingly unselfish and giving person, and everyone she has helped is coming out of the woodwork to support her.  It really is an indication of who she is and just how much she is loved.  True to form, she told me that if anyone in her family had to get diagnosed with cancer, she was glad it was her.  She isn’t married, doesn’t have kids like her two sisters do, and doesn’t have to worry about finances because her workplace is stepping up to support her as well.  She will be able to fully concentrate on kicking cancer’s ass.

In the presence of such an incredible person, I could only do this:  tell her just how incredible she is.  Tell her with total belief in her strength as a future survivor.

If you are feeling it from the heart, say it.  Or find ways to express the gratitude and joy you feel without the expectation of getting the perfect response or in fact, getting anything in return.  What are you saving it for?

 

 

I’m Leaving You – Part 2

/ jane in training / 2 Comments
Good night, sweet desk.

Good night, sweet desk.

Last night, I cleaned my work desk for the very last time.  Some might argue that it’s the first time I’ve ever cleaned my desk.  Details, details.

If you’ve read I’m Leaving You – Part 1, then you know my plan of leaving my job with hardly any plan at all.  I would say I’m still in denial, but you know what…I don’t think I am.  I was lucky enough to leave on my own terms and I had the opportunity to say all my farewells and thank yous to all the fantastic people I’ve met and worked with.

Months ago, when I first made the concrete decision to leave, I burst into tears.  I was overcome with the realization of how much my identity was tied to my workplace, and I wondered how I was going to do without some of the best co-workers and friends I’ve ever known.  As the weeks flew by, I began to feel more at home with my decision.  Having that time allowed me to appreciate the people around me all the more, knowing that I was incredibly lucky to be in the presence of such…greatness.  I did my best to tell them, although I cloaked some of it in what I call my sense of humor.  If I had the money (and a business plan), I would steal some of them away and create an empire by investing in their brain power and creativity.  We would be unstoppable.

I’ll be having a farewell dinner with some of my girlfriends in a few days.  This is where I’m truly in denial, because I refuse to think about it.  In fact, I’ll stop right now.  Can’t go on.

Crossing Over: The Runner’s High

/ jane in training / 4 Comments
A real 5K through a fake town

A real 5K through a fake town

I was kind of kidding in my last post about having a runner’s high.  But something happened.  I think it happened to me.

What are the signs?  Slight euphoria?  Feeling like you can run another race even though you’ve just completed one?  Wanting to sign up for a 10K next time?

Adrenalin must have kicked in when the race started, because I never felt the lead in my legs like I usually do during the first five minutes of every run.  I ran slow and steady until I couldn’t anymore…and that’s when I took the photo above.  In my female age group, I finished 4th out of 17 runners.  What the?  I don’t know how many greyhounds were in my group, but this miniature Dachshund did pretty well.  At first, I really thought there might have only been four women running in my age group.  Seventeen women doesn’t seem like a lot compared to other races, but I’ll take what I can get.

I used to be one of those people who didn’t understand running.  Runners, I would scoff.  What the hell do you think you’re doing?  Hello, you’re not heading anywhere…not like me…see?  I’m getting in my car and I will end up at the bakery.  Now that is a real destination!

I was talking to my hair stylist the other day and I told him that I was going to run a 5K on the lot at Universal Studios and that it was going to be fun.  He gave me a Girl, you be crazy look, just like I must have given other people in the past.  Somehow, I crossed over into thinking running was fun.

After the race, my friends and I immediately launched ourselves into the pancake breakfast and enjoyed that feeling of sharing a fun experience together.  What could be better than that?