After a few days of silence from WG (Wine Guy), I took the lead last week and followed up on our previous agreement to meet for coffee. I left him a message one morning, asking when he might be free, but didn’t get any response from him that day. After telling myself not to over think the situation, I realized that it might be a good idea to try and date different guys so that my neuroses would spread out a little more evenly rather than concentrate its full power on one person.
But how to find more dates without going the online dating route? I don’t exactly appeal to the masses. How would I describe myself? I’m like Tina Fey’s Asian cousin – not exactly Tina in all her brilliance, but it’s as if we share some of the same genes. Mm, that made more sense in my head. Anyways, I do wear smart glasses like she does, so it means I’m pretty much just like her. How about this: I’m an ice cream flavor that appeals to very specific, sometimes odd people. A scoop of vanilla with basil and chicken liver, anyone? Hello? And as I’ve mentioned before, every few years a guy comes along and thinks that flavor combination is intriguing. When that happens, it’s in my best interest to take a critical look at his tastebuds.
Recently, a friend tried to jog my memory about the time we took a screenwriting class together when I was 19 years old: “Remember that older guy in the class who was interested in you? You said he wanted to build a home under the ground and that he only had the best of intentions for you. You didn’t want to go back to the class after that. Remember?” I thought it was a little cruel of her to try and make me remember such a horrifying moment in my past. Luckily, my memory was gifted enough to have blocked the whole thing and now I can use it as part of my ice cream analogy.
While I was in deep contemplation over all of these issues, WG called me the following day and left a message telling me which days he was free. I made my friend listen to it. She said, “He sounds nervous.” So I gave her his name and number just in case he went mental on me and decided that my liver would taste pretty good, too.
No one eats my liver and gets away with it.