The Dating Jitterbug: The Final Lesson?

After almost a week of not hearing from WG after our coffee date, I decided to take the lead (I’m having deja vu) and made one more good faith effort.  So I called him and left a message saying that I was going to the farmer’s market on Sunday and would he be interested in going?  He called back the next day.  This was his message:

“…yes, Sunday would be pretty good, I think.  I’m not sure…someone’s moving into the house for a few days and they’re coming on Sunday, but I’m not sure when.  Plus, I’m working on Sunday, but a little later.  And I’m transporting a friend to and from [more talking, details not important] and all of that happens on Saturday night, which probably won’t be an obstacle.  To make a long story short, Sunday might be tight for me.  If I can do it, I would love to do it.  And if not, [mumbling – sounds like: ‘I can shoot your way some time.’].  Anyways, I’ll call you real soon and we can discuss it further…thank you…bye.”

Hm.  Nervous rambling?  Perhaps.  Not that into me, but not quite sure how to tell me?  Could be.  I thought I asked a simple question, yet his answer turned into a big corn maze – I tried to follow him, but eventually, got lost.  A friend of mine said, “Seems like he wanted to see you, but didn’t know how to do that AND keep all of his other obligations.  I think he still wants to go out with you.”  Girlfriends are troublingly good at coming up with complex explanations for male behavior.

After consulting with my friend, I called him back.  This action, by the way, was not endorsed by my friend.  She told me not to call him, but I went rogue.  I left a message suggesting we go out another time when his schedule was more free, and that it would be fun to go out before I went out of town in a few weeks.

There’s attraction – that spark that sets off the whole thing – and then the rest is up to you to figure out.  And I’m figuring it out, despite the confusion.  I just didn’t think I would meet a guy who is, quite possibly, more scared of dating than I am.  But I don’t want to speculate on what he means, is thinking, or what he’s going through.  That would be a fruitless exercise in guessing what his truth might be.  Unless he tells me, I’ll never really know.  I left that message because I wanted to give him my truth.  What he does with it is up to him.

Whatever happens, it’s all a learning experience.  At least dating isn’t such a foreign concept now.  Not that it’s simple, but at least I can see the possibilities…


2 thoughts on “The Dating Jitterbug: The Final Lesson?

  1. You practiced with him, the dog doesn’t return the ball… Next him! 🙂

    A proper response I would expect from an adult is “I can’t do Sunday, but Monday is open”.

    If he does return the ball, its up to you. But I feel your attention is your most valuable asset, and he has to earn it. He has dug his own hole, now he needs to work himself out of it! It ain’t that deep, but he’s in it!

    Most importantly you put yourself out there, I know how that feels, be proud you did that. Heck I am proud of you.

    Regarding “more scared of dating than you”… Hey I resemble that remark 😉


  2. Poor WG. It almost felt like one of those movie moments where the guy calls the girl and leaves the most painful, rambling message. Not as bad as in “Swingers” though, thank goodness.

    I appreciate the support! This dating newbie will keep trying. You sound like you’re trying to make your way through some difficult situations – life sure keeps educating us, doesn’t it? Keep moving forward into brave-making territory…I’m certain it will be worth it!


I'd love to hear from you. I don't bite. It's more like a gentle gnawing on your ankle.

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