don’t judge a princess by her tiara

 

Isn't this a pretty sunset? *this is a blatant attempt to lure you into this post.

Isn’t this a pretty sunset? *this is a blatant attempt to lure you into this post.

I recently had a medical procedure – wait! don’t go anywhere yet. I promise you, this post will not contain any gross details. Unless you love disgusting and putrid information. In that case, Louis, my personal bouncer, will show you the way out. He lives for PX90 and eats metal for breakfast. Louis!!! 

Okay, back to my exciting medical procedure.

It’s always been difficult to get a blood pressure reading from me using those arm floatie things. I used to tell technicians about my history of arm-floatie-failure, but they never took me seriously so I stopped saying anything.

This time they gave it a good go using both arms, twice on each arm. Nothing. All four times, the cuff strangled my arms until they couldn’t breathe. If it weren’t for the good meat on these bones I’m sure my arms would’ve passed out and been rendered useless for writing this post. Wouldn’t that have been a shame?

I SAID, WOULDN’T THAT HAVE BEEN A SHAME????

Okay, back to my exciting medical procedure.

Look! Another beautiful sunset. *and another despicable attempt to keep you here.

Look! Another beautiful sunset. *and another despicable attempt to keep you here.

The technician wisely decided to get the manual cuff and the reading was a success.

More staff arrived for the next part of the procedure.

Nurse (peering at me): “What happened to your arms?”
Both upper arms were marked with dark red, vertical lines.
Me: “Oh, those are from the blood pressure cuff.”
Nurse: “Well, aren’t you a precious little Princess.”

I consider myself pretty quick with the comebacks, but that line was like a kick to the head. All of my fancy, funny words fell to floor, stunned into unconsciousness.

Half the people reading this post know me. That’s two of you. And you guys know the irony of that statement. (Unless it’s a truth you’ve been keeping to yourselves, fearing I would go mental on you if you said it out loud.)

I don’t mean to diss any real-life precious princesses, but I think what she said is hilarious. I consider myself way too sensible and sarcastic to be a princess. I am not girly. Hell, my voice is lower than most men’s voices.

But I do have a fluffy, dreamy side to me. Sometimes I’m dainty. I can be bossy. I own 33 tiaras…damn…maybe I…

one of my loyal subjects bowing down to me

One of my loyal subjects bowing down to me.

...like the idea of being royalty.

But the label “Princess” makes me want to kick someone’s ass. Or their calves, since I’m too short to reach their ass. If I were a violent person, I could cause a lot of damage to a lot of legs. But since I’m not…

Louis!!!

I’ll sit for a moment and give this entire topic a bit more thought…

I wish I weren't wearing flip flops in this photo. I'm pretty sure royalty don't wear them. Darn my love of comfortable footwear!!

Advertisements

11 thoughts on “don’t judge a princess by her tiara

  1. I don’t think she meant it in a nice way, but Princess Kate is pretty cool. Being royalty might be alright ;). I’d just take it with a grain of salt. People can be quite thoughtless sometimes. I had someone yell at me yesterday because she dropped by my work and the boss happened to not be here. It takes all kinds of kinds!

    I chuckled at “that makes two of you” 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m not sure how she meant to say it, but I thought it was pretty funny, since being a Princess is so not like me, haha! Yeah, some people tend to take out their anger on other people – too bad they live with that energy inside themselves!

      Princess Kate is a royal I like and…she’ll be Queen one day, right? 🙂

      Like

  2. …wth are you sitting under, princess? looks like a nouveau-egyptian version of one of those bells you try to ring with a sledgehammer at the circus…

    …actually, i tend to think of you as more of a queen than a princess (take that any way you want)…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Another funny post, great to start my Sunday 🙂 I am not good at comebacks, usually, it takes me a day or two…not really a comeback any more, which means I spent waaaayyy too much time thinking about it. Not good. The younger sister, among your other fanS is way better…but still, being called a Princess may have thrown her off too.

    Great photos you included for the post (though I still would read your post without photos). Who does not like sunset photos, and that subject of yours, too cute.

    By the way, you look way too cute, comfortable in that chair — and that pose, oh my, your honorable, umm,….Princess, ha!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, sometimes my comebacks also become waaaybacks when I finally think of them in the middle of the night.

      I’m part human, part ham – that’s why I’m posing like that. Honestly, it’s very hard for me to pose like a normal person because I usually don’t like the way I look in photos!

      I consider you and your sister to be royalty, too. There’s no way I’m gonna be a Princess by myself!!

      Liked by 1 person

I'd love to hear from you. I don't bite. It's more like a gentle gnawing on your ankle.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s