writing is such sweet sorrow

September 13, 2015October 19, 2015 / jane in training / 10 Comments

I’m having writer’s block.

My mind is a blank. Not my regular blank but that no-makey-sense-my-words-no-good kind of blank. So, when in doubt, post photos of extremely random things and make matching random comments:

This is my newest succulent. I’m holding a little nub that had been uprooted from its pot and tossed disrespectfully onto the ground. It had toothmarks on it. I often find my succulents with bite marks and chewed leaves, knocked over, or uprooted and strewn about. Vandals. Miscreants. Other strong words describing animals behaving badly.

This is my favorite selfie. Morning feet, good. Morning face, bad. Trust me on this.

The lighting in my place is ridiculous. I want to invite people over so that they can take their selfies in this light. For a small, yet exorbitant fee, of course.

Cute sheep butt sighting.
Sheep cute butt sighting.
Sighting cute butt sheep.

All of these descriptions work pretty well. I really missed out on a career with words about sheep butts.

Planting bok choy. Taking time to admire my work. Too much time. I had trouble straightening my legs but didn’t have any problem making a lot weird sounds while trying to stand up.

I am so lucky to be in a part of the world that has an abundance of beautiful summer fruit. I’m very, very grateful. Along with eating the fruit raw, I’ve made apple cake, apple crisp, and multiple batches of applesauce. Peach crisps are dang delicious. I put plums in my oatmeal. Nectarines and strawberries went into my yogurt. Pears went down my gullet. Fruit has been an extremely attentive BFF, the kind of BFF from whom you need to take a little break and hope they don’t take it personally. Okay, I think I’ve covered my bases. If there’s one thing I don’t need, it’s Fruit being all like, “I thought you were my friend….!!!!”

Well, I guess I wasn’t lacking for words after all.

I believe that part of having writer’s block is the belief that you have nothing to say. Fear of sucking at something you actually love to do. Overthinking doesn’t help. It gets tiring, this thinking about my thinkings. While some people need a more stringent thought process, I need to keep free from extraneous thoughts. I’ll try it now.

…

Are you still there? It’s kind of creepy the way you’re watching me not think.

That’s why I like you.

I’ll leave you to overthink that one.

re(new)

January 3, 2015January 3, 2015 / jane in training / 1 Comment

don’t like the path you’re taking? you can always find a new one (or make your own)

*The first word for 2015?: new. For more WordPress Weekly Photo Challenge entries, click here!

I have been in a writing rut.

I implored AAA to come and rescue me, to charge up my draining battery, but they refused. Something about “we only respond to calls about automobiles, ma’am.”

So be it. I was on my own.

Enter 2015.

Like many people, I feel a renewed energy at the beginning of a new year. It’s a marker that shouts: “Get your fresh start! Fresh starts here!!”

I have a new plan, a new camera, a determination to keep strengthening my core (literally and psychologically), but my creative energy to write has waned. There is an ebb and flow in this life, and right now my words are out to sea. I can see them floating aimlessly, bobbing up and down. I have to trust that they’ll come back to me, even though that whole bobbing up and down thing is really annoying.

Luckily, my creative energy for taking photos is holding steady.

looking inward and looking outward at Shark Fin Cove, Davenport CA

My mantra for 2015?: See new things. See old things in a new way. See Jane get older but always find ways to be new.

the minimalist

November 7, 2014November 8, 2014 / jane in training / 15 Comments

I’ve started to sporadically participate in the Daily Post’s Weekly Photo Challenge on WordPress. (I’m tired after writing that out. How about DPWPCWP? Never mind.)

I really like today’s theme: Minimalist.

I’m a minimalist. Kind of a cluttery one, but still…

Clothing, makeup (I’m drafting a post on this topic; I like writing about things I know nothing about), my mind – which is also kind of cluttered, and photography. Maybe I’ll change my name to plainjaneintraining. Has a nice ring to it.

In the spirit of the weekly theme, I’m keeping my words to a minimum. Only for today, though. I still have a lot of things to say about quantum physics, ball pein hammers, and German football teams. One post at a time…one post at a time…

lights, camera, refraction!

October 17, 2014October 17, 2014 / jane in training / 12 Comments

Check out the weekly WordPress Photo Challenge for more great images!

refraction: the change of direction of a ray of light, sound, heat, or the like, in passing obliquely from one medium into another in which its wave velocity is different.

[I read that definition about 16 times and kept getting lost at ‘obliquely‘. They might as well have used the word oblongitudinal or trigonomical.]

I’m finding my way with photography. It’s a beautiful thing, this marriage between your eye and the camera. Sometimes we fight. Surprisingly, I’m usually the one complaining: Hey Camera, why’d you place that tree limb directly behind their head? You made them look like a human shish kabob. But then I laugh, because I enjoy Camera’s dark sense of humor.

When I took the above photo with my iPhone, I pretty much shot straight into the sun. All I did was frame the sun, completely ignoring what was lurking in the shadows. When I got home, I lifted the veil a bit on the photo.

Do you ever feel like you are rewarded with something surprisingly beautiful when you review your photos? What about when you enhance and/or crop them to tell a certain story, convey a mood? Or perhaps you don’t have to do anything at all and it speaks for itself. This is what I love about taking photos. It gives me great joy to uncover something I didn’t know was there. I like being surprised (in a nice way, not a hiding-behind-my-bedroom-door kind of way).

Now, I’m not going to pretend that I know what I’m doing. I prefer not to know too much about photography except for the very basics. As you might have guessed from my difficulty with that rascally word ‘obliquely’, my mind starts to spin at the mention of ISOs, apertures and shutter speed. Whenever I tell people this, they try their best to explain (very slowly) what these things mean, stopping only after my head falls off my neck and rolls underneath the coffee table. This disgusts them and eventually, they give up.

I’m taking a trip soon, but am only bringing along my point-and-shoot camera; I don’t feel like lugging around my borrowed DSLR, especially when it might rain everyday. I’m looking forward to some new scenery.

DSLR. I think that stands for Digital Single Lady Reflects. How lovely. (Please don’t correct me with the real definition. It’s the only way I can keep my head reattached long enough to finish this post.)

stone cold knitter

September 13, 2014September 13, 2014 / jane in training / 15 Comments

i miss my cat.

I’m an on-again, off-again knitter. I’m in on-mode right now, having been inspired by a friend who has been crocheting those cute amigurumi figures. I’m of Japanese descent, and it has taken me forever to learn and remember that word. Amygummy? Agroommy? Ergimummy? Argh!!

I love yarn, especially when the fiber is spun from alpacas. I love wooden needles and the fact that you can’t bring them to jury duty because it is a known fact that knitters are stone. Cold. KILLERS.

I’ve been trying to knit the perfect hat. This has been going on for years. The only hat I’ve ever kept was the one I subsequently lost in Scotland. Every time I travel I somehow manage to leave behind some article of clothing. (I am choosing to let that last sentence sound sexy and daring, even though it involves beanies and stretched-out sweatshirts.) In fact, I’ve hardly kept anything I’ve ever made, save a few coffee cup cozies and some crocheted roses my armygrummi friend taught me how to make.

Why is this?

a) I’m a perfectionist unwilling to compromise the highest apex of my expectations
b) I give everything away as part of my plan to clothe the heads of the entire population, one hat at a time
c) I look terrible in hats

See? I look like Michael Nesmith. I’m very upset because the hat is too small for my head. And it’s making me look like I have sideburns.

All are sort of true. But the thing that dawned on me this morning is that I actually enjoy the process. Screw the outcome. My task, my lesson, is to appreciate what is happening in the moment. Sometimes I feel disappointed that I didn’t capture a moment with my camera or that a better camera would be able to perfectly capture a scene…and then I remember that I am here, seeing this perfect thing at the most perfect of moments. That I can choose how I want to see what I see. Moments like this shift my perspective and depth of gratitude. Knitting, you are a surprising teacher.

Yes, we’re stone-cold killers. But we can also be found staring lovingly at our inordinate amounts of yarn and our beautifully crafted weapons of choice.

It’s the alpaca heart in us.