Match #1: The Chef

I’m in love!!!  

Not really.  I haven’t been on the date yet.  This is the pre-date portion of the program (I’ll be adding my post-date thoughts below).  I wanted to know what it felt like to be one of those women – I’m convinced they’re a different species – on “The Bachelor”.  You know, already in love with the idea of falling in love and then getting their heart broken by a guy they hardly know.  I loved him and I thought he kinda liked me!weep, weep, feelings of despair…  Girl, get it together.  He’s dumber than a rock.  Join me on – we’ll find a guy for you that’s as smart as or even smarter than a rock!

You know, maybe I should get a job counseling these women.  Or work as a Marketing Strategist for Match.  I’ve found my new careers.

This is my first date through Match.  I’m trying to be optimistic by starting a numbering system, but that didn’t seem to work too well with Wine Guy.  One date, the possibility of another, and then he fell into the Bermuda Triangle of Missing/Non-Responsive Men.

My profile had been public for a few days when I was IM’ed by The Chef.  I was on the site, trying to figure out how to edit something in my profile:  how do you…but I just changed it…let me try!!PING!! [IM window popping up]ack!!  what the hell?!  I nearly jumped out of my skin.  When I peered at the small message box, I recognized the photo that came along with it.  He had viewed my profile earlier.  I thought he was kind of cute and more importantly, he appeared to be normal.  With shaking hands (I know, pathetic), I decided to respond.  And what do you know…our senses of humor were kind of the same.  Sarcastic?  Check.  Self-deprecating?  Check.  Age?  Oops.  He’s 41 years old.  I’m…older.  But that’s the good thing about Match.  He knew my age, height and hm, what else could have scared him off – oh, yes, the profile itself.  He read it and still contacted me.  He’s a brave man.  I have no idea what other women are writing, but I started my profile with sarcasm.  Isn’t that the way to a man’s heart?

Post-date Analysis  

Great date.  Fun, relaxed (well, he was), easy.  A guy’s guy, not a dude.  There’s a difference.  My ex was overly sensitive and emotional, so it was nice to be with someone who seemed at ease with himself and his guyness.  Not only is he a chef, he’s an Executive Chef, which I have to admit is kinda sexy.  Not the title itself, but the fact that he is in charge and has to know how to manage people.  Our sensibilities and senses of humor matched, and I thought he was cute, so I would definitely go out with him again.  The mystery question is whether he was attracted to me or not.  I have absolutely no idea, which is probably not a good sign.  I can’t think of anything positive said in my direction except he said I was tiny, he liked my boots, and that I eat slowly, which is the healthy way.  Like I said, nothing to go on.  I made him laugh, but so could a Chihuahua with an underbite, so that doesn’t say much either.  We hugged at the end of the date – don’t worry, I didn’t overhug him – and he said he would call me.  My first generic “I’ll call you”!!  I’ve officially joined the ranks of the dating masses!

By the way, I guess the sarcasm in my profile is not the way to a man’s heart like I thought.  I was talking about my profile when The Chef said, “Guys just look at the pictures.”  But I put a lot of thought into my profile and – “We’re guys – we just look at the pictures.”  Oh.  So much for that ‘A’ I was going for in creative writing.

I sent him a message today thanking him for the date.  If I don’t hear from him again I’ll have to chalk it up to his non-attraction of my 3-D self.  There’s nothing I can do about that.  I’ll simply have to go on *weep weep despair* and try to find a date that finds me more funny and charming than that damn Chihuahua.


8 thoughts on “Match #1: The Chef

  1. pictures only! i knew it! i’m so not photogenic, which probably makes me SOL on match. hmm, i put lots of thought in my profile too but i guess that wasn’t necessary. hoo-hum.


  2. Nice!

    My thoughts on the “pics only”, it is true, thats where we start, but isn’t that were we all start? It brutal though… But if we are interested we do check out other things, perhaps looking for commonality, red flags (like is she sarcastic…nah just playing 😉 )

    Try not to ask your date about your profile, it comes off as your not experienced. Online dating makes the woman the prize because there are soo many men asking women. So act like it……. let him contact you, let him tell you it was a nice evening…. you are too busy, again you are the prize…

    Like hunters say, “Be patient, let the game come to you, be quick, but don’t hurry….”

    I like it that he’s a chef, some evening he can cook for you, or better you can share with us some recipes! Him being a Executive Chef is really good, must show leadership, and confidence.


    • Paul! I feel like you’re part of my pit crew – as I slowly drive in, you’re shouting advice: “Don’t let him pull out in front of you! You’re the prize!! Don’t let him know you’re new to racing cars!!” haha! I’m glad you’re part of my crew.

      I think I might have been too happy on the date, which sounds ridiculous, but it made me a little hyper. I was happy to be around guy energy and probably because he chose me. Maybe I need to meditate before my next date.

      As always, I’m taking your advice into deep consideration…


      • Humble!

        Actually the tension is what you want. He can sense it! All that “something about mary” stuff is wrong. A guy likes it when the women he is on a date with is happy, makes him think hes doing a good job, strokes his ego…LOL. It really works if he thinks there are other suitors.

        To use a racing analogy my little Mario, Loose is fast…

        Have a great day!


  3. …actually, guys do, in fact, read the profile; we just read it for different reasons than why you wrote it…yes, we guys are very visual and the photo is the primary factor for us, but the profile is our early warning system, as it lets us know the amount of crazy we might be in for (every guy has a certain ratio of “crazy versus physical attractiveness” which is acceptable…although i think most of us overestimate how much crazy we can take)…

    …I’m glad you had a good time!…


    • Well, then, males and females look at photos for the same reason. Is he/she crazy? I can’t tell you how many men ask for “no drama” in their profile. I wonder if women write the same? You’d think that I would have definitely put that in mine, huh?


  4. Pingback: Sex Surrogate session #6 | My journey to thrive….

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